Many male coffee farmers in the highlands of Papua New Guinea believe they have a right to sex with their spouse without regard to her wishes. Drawing on quantitative and qualitative data, I argue that such sexual violence is best framed within local understandings of what marriage involves – an implicit contract which conveys rights and responsibilities to each partner in a marriage. Changes brought by modernity are transforming traditional understandings of conjugality, causing some discrepancies in partners’ understanding of what they have agreed to. Too many women continue to endure marital rape, but some signs of improvement are discernible.